I have a problem that I've always had but is becoming more and more evident since I started school again. I CAN'T SAY NO!! Someone asks me to do a favor and I am automatically flattered (I really do love feeling like I'm a person who can help out and like people can come to me for advice and assistance) and in the spur of the moment, I arrange my schedule in my mind to fit the favor in.
I remember when I first started school, one of the teachers said there comes a time for every nursing student when you feel so overwhelmed you just sit down and cry and you look around and your house is trashed and the laundry and dishes are piling up and you haven't cooked dinner for the past month. I honestly didn't think that time was ever going to come for me...especially not in the second semester!! What is encouraging and frustrating at the same time is that I'm realizing that it's not school that has me so stressed, it's everything else (which has put stress on the school because I've allowed myself to get behind).
I feel like I always end up letting down and pushing aside the people who mean the most to me and the ones I want to show gratitude to and serve the most, especially Mike. Like a bishop who sets aside his family responsibilities to fulfill ward responsibilities. Only my situation is WAY smaller than that :). But I do feel like my problem is interfering with things/people that are MUCH more important!
So my question is this: how do you let people know they can rely on you, that you feel like you owe them a lot and that you want more than anything to help them out but you just can't?? I need advice stat! :)
P.S. PLEASE do not read this post and think it is directed at anyone!! My problem is with time management, not greedy people and I just want to know how other people cope!
4 comments:
Hey Ash! I don't think I have profound advice other than this: Sometimes we are in positions in our lives to offer others help, and sometimes we are not. If this is a time you're not, it's totally fine. Just be honest and tell people that you would love to help and wish you could, but can't right now. If they really know you, they'll know that you're being genuine. Before you know it, you'll be done with school and have a little more free time to devote to helping others out. Your sanity and family does come first!
Oh Ash, you're the best. If you weren't so talented everyone wouldn't want your help so much! No but really, you should just be honest. Kristi is totally right, if they know you at all, then they'll know that you're swamped.
I'm just rude. But other than that...let's see...maybe you could carry a planner. Schedule yourself in (be sure to schedule time for your family AND yourself, school, church, cooking etc). Then when somebody asks you a favor, whip it out and ask them when they want you to fit it in. They will quickly see that you either don't have the time, or it isn't that important. If it IS really really important, then you will find out.
Ashley, you're awesome. It's probably hard to say no because you assume they already know you're busy and they wouldn't ask unless they really wanted you to do the thing anyway. But honestly, even when people know you're a busy nursing student, they forget or have no idea what that means in terms of time commitment. You just have to tell them you can't sometimes. I don't think anyone will think you don't appreciate them or don't want to help them.
Mike: Happy Birthday!
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