Monday, September 18, 2017

Saturday's are Great!

I woke up to Super Spence! I'm not sure who decided he needed super hero arm bands but they're workin'! I also didn't even realize his pack holder was across his waist like a belt. 

Cutest little super hero!


Morning walk...ahhhh!

Remi snuck into the first date Mike and I have had in a while! Let's be honest though, she just made it more fun! She makes everything more fun!

Sal and I tried our hand at candle making. My favorite part is that it has a wood wick...that we found in the yard. #resourceful

Mike's been stressed about getting firewood. These cottonwood trees have been down, making the property look trashy for a while now. Win, win?

Maybe. It's sad to see it such a mess back there but it made a beautiful and fun mini wood hauling trip to just go get some out of the backyard. 

And of course, we had "help"!


End the day with sweet baby snuggles and it's safe to say, Saturday's are GREAT!

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Easy Low Prep Game

We were feeling antsy and looking for something to do so we came up with this quick, easy, practically prep free fishing game. 

The kids LOVED it and played with it all day long (which is longer than some of their more expensive toys)!

Here's what you need:
•Pipecleaners
•Yarn or Twine
•Magnets 
•Sticks (we just found some from the yard, but popsicle sticks would work great too!)
•Hot glue (optional)

Directions:
Cut pipe cleaners 

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Happy 1st Birthday, Hyrum!

On March 12, we celebrated Hyrum’s first birthday. It’s so hard to believe it’s already been a year! The day we met Hyrum changed the course of our lives. It’s crazy to think that one day can do that! 

Just like for his last birthday, we got him a Superman cake...and Blue Bell hit the shelves again just in time!


This picture may not look like much, but it was such a tender mercy for me. Last year, right before Hyrum’s funeral, the sweet ladies at the local flower shop gave me some live tulips. In the card, they explained the significance of them being perennials and that they would bloom every year around his birthday. We were also given several other spring plants around that time so I planted them all together, but they didn’t really survive last year, so I was worried I’d already ruined this beautiful gift. I can’t keep anything alive and that thought kind of felt like an ironic slap in the face.


Anyway…in being anxious about Hyrum’s birthday coming up, I’d totally forgotten about them, but then I walked outside one day to see little green buds sprouting up! It felt like a sign. All is well! We’ve been watering them and they’re getting bigger. And I love all the things that seeing those little leaves are reminding me of!

We got some beautiful gifts from wonderful people! It’s so nice to know that people remember and care, and that Hyrum’s life meant something to them too. I told Mike that I feel like I never got a chance to feel sorry for myself and mope before good people stepped in to make sure we knew we were remembered and loved. Few gifts can compare to that!


Mike made this shelf from the same wood that he made Hyrax’s casket (that in itself deserves its own post!). It came out SO beautiful and I’m so excited it was done in time to display some of Hyrum’s keepsakes for his birthday. Mike has always said he loves making handmade things for our kids. He's done an awesome job including Hyrum in that. He's been such a great example to me of the things we CAN do for Hyrum, instead of moping about the things we CAN'T.




 Hyrum's birthday fell on a Sunday, so the Saturday before, we told our families that we were making a special trip to the temple and invited them to go as well, even if they couldn’t be with us in person or do a session, we invited them to spend time at that special place with their families, as the temple is a place we've always felt close to Hyrum.
Sal was awesome and watched the kids while we did a session and then brought the kids to Snowflake to meet us so we could have some time with our family all together at the temple. I'm so thankful for her selfless willingness to make that day just what we wanted/needed it to be.
I didn't do very well taking pictures that day, but my parents, the Halls and the Boddekers all joined us in Snowflake for the session. We didn't want anyone to feel pressured to come, but man, I can't describe how much it meant to see our best friends there! 
Sweet Remi Girl was so excited to make a present for Hyrum. We made this garden stepping stone with our thumbprints in it to take to his spot. We decided we'll make him a new one every year and bring the old one home and put it in our yard somewhere to keep him close.
Now we're starting to get anxious and excited for Hy's little brother to show up. My 37 week check up is tomorrow...it's starting to get real....





Emily and Mel sent us these pictures of their precious kiddos at temples around them. Again, I was taken aback at how emotional it made me to see our families taking the time to remember Hyrum. I can’t put it into words, but I hope they know how much them taking time out of their day to do something special for us has made us feel loved. I hope the temple day for Hyrum will continue as the years go by.






Sunday (his actual birthday) was a little rough getting going. I went to the beginning of church but didn’t stay. We tried to do some things around the house when we got home, and interestingly enough, the thing that made me feel the most comforted was Mike putting up the new crib.

Our awesome friend Bonnie brought us lunch, and it was good to visit with her and then just be with our little family without worrying about too much.

Sunset rolled around and it was a beautiful one! We’d invited some friends and family for a little party and it felt so good to see the kids running around, happy, excited for the Superman cake and candles as the sun was setting.





We watched Hyrum’s videos and then headed to the cemetery and let off some lanterns. That didn’t go quite as smoothly as planned, but again, it was good to just be in good company and realize how blessed we are to have so many people care and be willing to celebrate and talk about Hyrum!

















As we came up on his birthday, there was such a mix of emotions. A lot of frustration of not having progressed to places we’d promised ourselves we’d go after experiencing such a profound change of perspective with Hyrum.

I’d known I’d wanted to make him a video because I wanted to look back at the pictures we had of him with “fresh eyes” per se.

As I looked through pictures of our time with him and since him, I couldn’t deny how much he’s changed our family for the good. 

When I was pregnant with him, we made so many wonderful memories, just us in our little house, happy and grateful for every day he was still with us. When he was born…I was worried there would be some trauma tied into looking at those pictures, but when I saw his little face and his little body, and the way his siblings were looking at him, and his family looked at him, I was overcome again with how much his life has changed ours for the better.

And then when I looked at pictures of the kids going to see his graveside, how happy and excited they are to show him or take him something or just tell him they love him…even little Sawyer (who still isn’t talking by the way) running up to Hyrum’s “spot”, knowing exactly where he’s going, excitedly yelling, “Hi Ha-mum, Hi Ha-mum!”, there isn’t too much of me that can be sad. 


Hyrum brought and left SO much beauty! It would feel like an injustice to not recognize it because of my own failure or grief. His life and the things he left us with have made us better, or at least WANT to be better on the hard days! That’s what I wanted his video to portray. How he brought so much love and light. How he’s made our family closer, how he’s brought precious people into our lives, how he’s brought us to Christ. It’s a better place since he came along!




Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Leaps and Bounds

My last post was all about "moving forward". I've been collecting pictures to make this post for a while, but I was super surprised to come back to my blog and realize I made that post almost 5 months ago!

Looking back on the past 5 months, it feels like we're moving forward by leaps and bounds! Much faster than I'm normally comfortable with! But I guess that's the way life goes. And I know that it's good! I just wish we were where we were for a little longer!

But here's where we've been the past 5 months (I still can't believe it's 5 months!!):

We got to have cousins come play at the beginning of the summer and it was so fun! Remi and Emi are three weeks apart and they are two peas in a pod. They both had to have long skirts, buns and sunglasses



Saw Man used to LOVE to wake up Remi every morning. He'd jump all over her and yell until she'd wake up.

Grant has gotten into board games, and he's really good! It's taken me a while, but I can finally beat him in checkers! He loves things that make him think!

Grant and Biz both did swimming lessons this year. We have to drive to St. Johns because our lovely town refuses to build a pool, but that meant Remi got to have Wilson be her teacher, and that was awesome! She even made her a friendship bracelet on the last day of class.

I'm SO proud of Grant! He's my little fish! That's him in the background taking strokes. I can't believe he's 5 and he's already taking strokes! I hope he keeps loving swimming and gets the opportunity to pursue it.

We had a wonderful Fourth of July! For some reason, I can't find any of my pictures, but I had this one from Facebook, and I LOVED spending it with my little family!!

Coz got to come spend some time in Eagar and we got to go have fun at Grammie Kimmie's. This is the perfect picture of summer in Eagar to me!

Another perfect summer pic! Sammy took us fishing! We should've gone more....maybe then Sawyer would've known fishing etiquette, or maybe he's just wild! Either way, next time we go, we need two adults per Sawyer!

This was taken on Hyrum's 5 month birthday. The Temple was a wonderful place to celebrate eternal families and bear our testimonies to our kids that we will see our little man again!

This picture cracks me up! We were at Grandma Velda's house and couldn't find Saw. I went into Velda's office and found Sawyer typing away on her computer. When he turned around, he was wearing her glasses. I couldn't stop laughing! His eyes looked HUGE!

This was a fun Family Home Evening night we had. S'mores and a fire pit. I LOVE spending time with these guys!!

August and September have brought big/exciting changes!

Grant started playing soccer and we have LOVED getting to watch him play! He is so sweet and just loves playing! He had an AWESOME coach and she did so well with their team!

In mid-May, I took a part-time job at the hospital and Mike turned in his notice at Little Colorado. It was kind of a leap of faith, but we'd been debating for a long time about how we could get Mike through school faster. I kept feeling pushed to stretch out of our comfort zones after we met Hyrum, and although it's been scary, it's been SO good for our family! Mike's taking extra classes and we're hoping to get through school a lot faster!

Before too much time went by, we made another big change! It has been my dream since I was in High School to get to work at Mountain Avenue Clinic, where I worked in high school. The wonderful people there encouraged me to pursue nursing and seeing how they cared for their patients always made me want to!

Lucky me, in July, I found out there would be an opportunity to work for them again. It was a little complicated, because I couldn't work full-time, but they've worked with me so well and things have just worked out so smoothly. It was hard having to tell the hospital, but I'm happy to be working days again, and I LOVE working at the clinic! And I do still pick up shifts at the hospital from time-to-time.

We'd been concerned about how we were going to manage things financially with the change, and there were a few weeks when I was still working nights and training at the clinic on days and when I really wondered if we were going to make it, but it felt like the right move to make, and it's already proven to be such a blessing!

Grant started school! I was a horrible mess of emotions! (Turns out running late the first day is a great remedy!) I can't believe he's so big!! We are so proud of our little kindergartener! He's done SO well! He was presented with a character award in the first month. He's made a good little friend and he LOVES school! He has an amazing teacher and she gave him a "magic potion" (kool-aid) to drink the night before school and he was so excited about it. He told me a few weeks into school, "That magic potion Mrs. Hamblin gave me REALLY worked because I always want to go to school!"

The weekend before school started, our niece Elyse brought over games to play with the whole fam and we got to have some good conversations. I love my nieces and the relationships we have. They are awesome people! Seriously, what high school senior spends her last night of freedom with her aunt and uncle and little cousins?! The kids ate it up! Especially Grant! He's a Chinese Checkers fan now!

So Mike has a sibling who he does EVERYTHING with! They went on their missions within weeks of each other. We got married within a week of each other. We had our first three kids, all the same gender around the same time. They even lost a pregnancy while I was pregnant with Hyrum. It's just been crazy how they always tend to have the same big life events going on at the same time!

Well, in July, they called and said they were pregnant...with TWINS! We figured it was finally time to jump off the train! I've still been really wrapped up in Hyrum's world and not wanting to let so much of it go. I couldn't imagine having another baby at that time. But we were SO excited for them! The day after they told us, I started putting together a "doubles" care package for them. I was so excited about the clever "pairs" that I found.

A few nights later, before I'd gotten everything together to send, I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and realized it was the third time I'd woken up to go that night. Because of our history and the news we'd just gotten, I decided to take a pregnancy test. And would you believe....
 (we're not having twins though!!)


We got to go pick wild raspberries (which I've always wanted to do!) with the Brownings. I was hoping to make a pie out of them, but we ended up using them to make smoothies instead.

Bonnie and I made these flags for Hyrum and Harley. I'm so thankful to have a friend and example like Bonnie! We decided to make them every year.

This little monkey has been giving us a run for our money over the last few months. A few of his antics include: spraying down the living room with the garden hose, starting a fire in the kitchen, flashing the congregation at church, staying up 'til ALL hours of the night (literally, last night it was 2:30 AM), and still refusing to talk (even though he can). But he has the sweetest face and the sweetest voice and he gets away with pretty much everything.


Sawyer has a sweet friend named Koley (he calls her Koe-Kway). They are best buddies and we are thankful someone can help curb our rowdy little man! She showed a sheep at the county fair this year and we got to go watch. She did awesome!

The kids were so excited for the fair and their mom is kind of a dead beat! But we still went and I think they had a pretty good time! It's always good to get out and do something fun with these guys!


Hyrum's six month birthday was last month. Everyone told us the six month mark would be hard. And it was...REALLY miss our little man! Every single day. I've accepted that that yearning for him will never go away. That makes it a little easier to carry, to just expect it to be there. He brings so much good too, and I love that our kids know and celebrate him with us. Clif gave us a lantern to release for his six month birthday. It was perfect!

The kids and I went picking wildflowers around our house. I LOVED it! We finally started doing it a little too late in the season, but I'm so excited about it! Remi and I picked to big jars one day and she said she wanted to take one to Hyrum and one to her friend Sami.

She's such a good sister!!

I LOVE it when Mike sends me pictures at work! This was one I got one day. Sometimes it's hard to believe these two are brothers because of how different they are. But they look like brothers to me in this picture. They do have in common that they're both such BOYS!

And Remi is such a lady! She got to meet her baby cousin Layla last month and she was in Heaven!!

 Remi gave us a scare, after she slipped and hit her head on the sidewalk. At first I thought everything was fine, that she probably just had a little concussion, but then she started slurring words, couldn't stay awake, had glassy eyes and threw up about 7 times. I took her to the ER and her physical assessment checked out, but after she threw up a few more times in the ER, they did a CT just to be sure. We're so grateful everything turned out okay. She got to come home and by the time she got back to her brothers, she was her usual, sweet self! None of us know what we'd do without our little Bizzy!

"Mom's Wild Fella"...yup!

Saw got to see Sal and he was pretty stoked about it!

 Lately, when he doesn't want to do something or doesn't like what we have to say, he just plugs his ears. I wish that would make all my problems go away!

For conference this year, we did a little store. The kids got "conference cash" if they were reverent and could tell us what each of the talks were about. I forgot to take a picture until Sunday afternoon, but the kids did great, especially Grant. He helped Remi figure out how much everything cost and how much she needed to have in order to buy what she wanted. They were so good, we actually felt like we got to listen to the majority of it, and it was a great conference!

So I posted this on FB, but I needed to document it here. I really had big plans for how I was going to announce this pregnancy. I had such a hard emotional road at the beginning that finally feeling like I was ready to put it out there felt like a big step. I wanted to make sure I included Hyrum in the announcement, because a lot of my emotional turmoil stemmed from worrying that Hyrum would be overshadowed by the joy of a new baby.

Well Sawyer got ahold of the ultrasound picture before I could. So it seemed a little fitting that this was the way to tell Facebook that we're having another baby.
I showed the picture to Remi and she asked what was in Sawyer's mouth. I told her it was the picture of our new baby and she said, "AGHHHHH! That dang Soy-ya! He's such a nut!" For real, Rems!

What??