I woke up to Super Spence! I'm not sure who decided he needed super hero arm bands but they're workin'! I also didn't even realize his pack holder was across his waist like a belt.
Cutest little super hero!
Morning walk...ahhhh!
Remi snuck into the first date Mike and I have had in a while! Let's be honest though, she just made it more fun! She makes everything more fun!
Sal and I tried our hand at candle making. My favorite part is that it has a wood wick...that we found in the yard. #resourceful
Mike's been stressed about getting firewood. These cottonwood trees have been down, making the property look trashy for a while now. Win, win?
Maybe. It's sad to see it such a mess back there but it made a beautiful and fun mini wood hauling trip to just go get some out of the backyard.
And of course, we had "help"!
End the day with sweet baby snuggles and it's safe to say, Saturday's are GREAT!
On March 12, we celebrated Hyrum’s first birthday. It’s so hard to believe it’s already been a year! The day we met Hyrum changed the course of our lives. It’s crazy to think that one day can do that!
Just like for his last birthday, we got him a Superman cake...and Blue Bell hit the shelves again just in time!
This picture may not look like much, but it was such a tender mercy for me. Last year, right before Hyrum’s funeral, the sweet ladies at the local flower shop gave me some live tulips. In the card, they explained the significance of them being perennials and that they would bloom every year around his birthday. We were also given several other spring plants around that time so I planted them all together, but they didn’t really survive last year, so I was worried I’d already ruined this beautiful gift. I can’t keep anything alive and that thought kind of felt like an ironic slap in the face.
Anyway…in being anxious about Hyrum’s birthday coming up, I’d totally forgotten about them, but then I walked outside one day to see little green buds sprouting up! It felt like a sign. All is well! We’ve been watering them and they’re getting bigger. And I love all the things that seeing those little leaves are reminding me of!
We got some beautiful gifts from wonderful people! It’s so nice to know that people remember and care, and that Hyrum’s life meant something to them too. I told Mike that I feel like I never got a chance to feel sorry for myself and mope before good people stepped in to make sure we knew we were remembered and loved. Few gifts can compare to that!
Mike made this shelf from the same wood that he made Hyrax’s casket (that in itself deserves its own post!). It came out SO beautiful and I’m so excited it was done in time to display some of Hyrum’s keepsakes for his birthday. Mike has always said he loves making handmade things for our kids. He's done an awesome job including Hyrum in that. He's been such a great example to me of the things we CAN do for Hyrum, instead of moping about the things we CAN'T.
Hyrum's birthday fell on a Sunday, so the Saturday before, we told our families that we were making a special trip to the temple and invited them to go as well, even if they couldn’t be with us in person or do a session, we invited them to spend time at that special place with their families, as the temple is a place we've always felt close to Hyrum. Sal was awesome and watched the kids while we did a session and then brought the kids to Snowflake to meet us so we could have some time with our family all together at the temple. I'm so thankful for her selfless willingness to make that day just what we wanted/needed it to be. I didn't do very well taking pictures that day, but my parents, the Halls and the Boddekers all joined us in Snowflake for the session. We didn't want anyone to feel pressured to come, but man, I can't describe how much it meant to see our best friends there! Sweet Remi Girl was so excited to make a present for Hyrum. We made this garden stepping stone with our thumbprints in it to take to his spot. We decided we'll make him a new one every year and bring the old one home and put it in our yard somewhere to keep him close. Now we're starting to get anxious and excited for Hy's little brother to show up. My 37 week check up is tomorrow...it's starting to get real....
Emily and Mel sent us these pictures of their precious kiddos at temples around them. Again, I was taken aback at how emotional it made me to see our families taking the time to remember Hyrum. I can’t put it into words, but I hope they know how much them taking time out of their day to do something special for us has made us feel loved. I hope the temple day for Hyrum will continue as the years go by.
Sunday (his actual birthday) was a little rough getting going. I went to the beginning of church but didn’t stay. We tried to do some things around the house when we got home, and interestingly enough, the thing that made me feel the most comforted was Mike putting up the new crib.
Our awesome friend Bonnie brought us lunch, and it was good to visit with her and then just be with our little family without worrying about too much.
Sunset rolled around and it was a beautiful one! We’d invited some friends and family for a little party and it felt so good to see the kids running around, happy, excited for the Superman cake and candles as the sun was setting.
We watched Hyrum’s videos and then headed to the cemetery and let off some lanterns. That didn’t go quite as smoothly as planned, but again, it was good to just be in good company and realize how blessed we are to have so many people care and be willing to celebrate and talk about Hyrum!
As we came up on his birthday, there was such a mix of emotions. A lot of frustration of not having progressed to places we’d promised ourselves we’d go after experiencing such a profound change of perspective with Hyrum.
I’d known I’d wanted to make him a video because I wanted to look back at the pictures we had of him with “fresh eyes” per se.
As I looked through pictures of our time with him and since him, I couldn’t deny how much he’s changed our family for the good.
When I was pregnant with him, we made so many wonderful memories, just us in our little house, happy and grateful for every day he was still with us. When he was born…I was worried there would be some trauma tied into looking at those pictures, but when I saw his little face and his little body, and the way his siblings were looking at him, and his family looked at him, I was overcome again with how much his life has changed ours for the better.
And then when I looked at pictures of the kids going to see his graveside, how happy and excited they are to show him or take him something or just tell him they love him…even little Sawyer (who still isn’t talking by the way) running up to Hyrum’s “spot”, knowing exactly where he’s going, excitedly yelling, “Hi Ha-mum, Hi Ha-mum!”, there isn’t too much of me that can be sad.
Hyrum brought and left SO much beauty! It would feel like an injustice to not recognize it because of my own failure or grief. His life and the things he left us with have made us better, or at least WANT to be better on the hard days! That’s what I wanted his video to portray. How he brought so much love and light. How he’s made our family closer, how he’s brought precious people into our lives, how he’s brought us to Christ. It’s a better place since he came along!
